Thinking About Privilege

Sitting with head bowed, eating dinner quietly and quickly, so careful and precise, constantly afraid to offend. The silence is almost brutal. I sit, waiting, praying, eating slowly, peacefully, trying to make small conversation if the opportunity arises.  

We have had one girl at the center, almost three weeks now. This has been the longest three weeks ever, yet so much has happened. It’s as if I just blinked and the time has passed. I don’t quite know how to process it all, but I know I have already learned so much from this dear sweet girl.

She doesn’t talk much. But she loves reading, crocheting, dancing, gardening, and trying new things. She has been the most willing and able student as we fumble about trying to figure out best how to actually run this center, bringing her along for the ride. It has been such a joy to see her begin to open up, begin to trust us, begin to show us who she really is, since we didn’t know her much at all when she came to us. It is a patient waiting game, as she patiently goes through each day, and we learn to be patient and relax in the process.

Meeting her has also taught me so much about privilege. Privilege is one of those topics that I tend to avoid, since it is so often discussed and thrown about in every circle imaginable. But the reality of my privilege is so tangible in moments like this that it almost makes me ill.

It is such a privilege that I can choose where I want to be in the world, and what I want to do with my life. It is such a privilege that I grew up with opportunities to dream and then given the resources to follow my dreams. It is such a privilege that I have people who have been willing to listen to me and process with me as I have learned who I am in this world and my place in it. It is such a privilege that I grew up surrounded by the Word of God and have grown to love and rely upon its truth to sustain me. It is such a privilege that I have been encouraged to live life fully, to find moments that allow me to thrive and not just survive.

These gifts that build my privilege I often take for granted. But when you ask someone what they wanted to be when they were a child, and they have no concept to even give you an answer, you can’t help but see how drenched in privilege you are.